


Helpless

by propertyofpoeandbucky



Series: Bucky Barnes Series/Multi-Part Fics [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29783337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/propertyofpoeandbucky/pseuds/propertyofpoeandbucky
Summary: The rise and fall of your relationship with Bucky Barnes.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes & You, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/You
Series: Bucky Barnes Series/Multi-Part Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189115
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

“Clint, seriously, you know parties aren’t really my scene.” You whined as Clint went looking through your closet tossing clothes left and right.

“Y/N, as your friend, it’s my job to make sure that you get some socialization once in a while.”

“I socialize!”

Clint stopped and looked at you arching an eyebrow, “You socialize outside of the internet?”

You looked down in shame, “No.”

“My point proven. So let’s get you into a beautiful dress and get your ass to Stark’s party." 

You sighed as you helped Clint look for a dress, "Out of all parties, it has to be Tony Stark’s?”

“Yes ‘cause as much as chaotic they are, Stark’s parties are always fun. Whether it’s watching him make a fool of himself or watching some pour soul arm wrestle Rogers.”

“That does sound fun…”

“See! You’ll enjoy yourself! Ah!” Clint pulled out a black dress that you completely forgot about, “This is perfect! Simple and beautiful. Here.” He hands it to you, “Put it on. Fix up and whatnot. I’ll be downstairs waiting.”

“Yeah yeah.” You wave him off as you make your way to your bathroom. Before you close the door you shout, “Don’t eat all of my food!”

You hear a muffled, “No promises!” Then you close the door.

* * *

Half an hour later you and Clint make your way to the venue for Tony’s party. You’re immediately greeted to flashing lights, loud music, the strong scent of sweat and alcohol, and people dancing.

“I suddenly regret my decision.” You say to Clint.

“Don’t be such a baby. Come on. I see Nat.” Clint pulls you by the arm through the dancing crowd and you had to constantly apologize for running into people. 

You then found yourself at the bar facing Natasha, “Hey Red.” You say happily as you hugged her.

“How’s it going, Y/N?”

“Oh ya know. I’m already trying to find a way to escape.”

Nat chuckled, “You’ll be fine. Here,” She hands you her glass of unknown alcohol. You drank some wincing at the bitter taste. You weren’t much of a drinker. 

“So what do you guys do at these parties? Knowing you, you don’t dance or drink much.” Both Clint and Nat shrugged.

“We mostly like watching people make a fool out of themselves.” Clint said,

“For example,” He pointed to the other side of the bar to see a rather buff guy trying to win at an arm wrestle against Thor. You laughed as Thor defeated the poor guy. What human could actually beat Thor?

“So do all of the Avengers come to these things?”

“Pretty much. Rogers and Barnes not so much,” Nat looked towards the door,

“Ah. Looks like they actually came." You followed her gaze and your eyes fell on the two super soldiers. But your heart felt like it was about to explode when you saw Barnes, as Natasha called him. His hair was tied up into a man bun, he wore a maroon shirt with a leather jacket on top, and jeans. 

Nat smirked at your expression, "Earth to Y/N?”

You shook your head and turned to her, “Huh? Did you say something?”

Clint cackled, “Already fallen for him and you haven’t spoken to him!”

“Shut up, Clint.” You mumbled.

“Go talk to him, Y/N.” Nat nudged you.

“Ha ha ha no. I’m just gonna stand by that wall over there.” You walk away from Nat and Clint and stand against the wall keeping an eye on Barnes. You watch him from across the dance floor hoping to somehow catch his eye. You were focused on only him and managed to drown out the dancing people and the loud music.

* * *

Nat watched as you continued to stare at Barnes. She rolled her eyes, “Okay. This is just getting annoying.” She pushed herself from the bar counter and made her way towards Barnes. 

You eyes moved as Nat made her way to Barnes. She put her arm on his shoulder and whispered in his ear. As she did that, your shoulders slumped. They seemed close so that could only mean one thing…suddenly his eyes met yours and he smiled at you. Right then and there, you suddenly felt helpless. His eyes were a beautiful blue and you felt like you could drown in them.  
Suddenly you straightened as Nat made her way to you with Barnes in tow. 

“Romanoff, what are you doing?”

“Trust me, Barnes. I’m about to change your life.”

“Fine. Then lead the way.”

When Bucky stood before you, he couldn’t help but smile, “Hi.”

You smiled back, “Hi.” Nat just stood there looking between you and Bucky, “I’m Y/N L/N.” You stuck out your hand.

Bucky took yours and shook it, “James Buchanan Barnes, but people call me Bucky.”

“Thank you for saving the world and what not.” You chuckled.

Bucky’s eyes shined, “If it takes from the world almost ending for us to meet, it will have been worth it.”

Nat nodded in approval, “I’ll leave you to it.”

* * *

One Week Later

You woke up to your phone vibrating. You groaned as you reached for your phone. You shielded your eyes as you turned down the brightness. When you looked at who texted you, you smiled. Your notification read: 1 Message from Bucky Barnes.

You clicked on it and it said, 

**Bucky:** Good morning, gorgeous. (Sent at 6:00 am)

 **You:** Buck, it’s 6am…

 **Bucky:** I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking about you…

 **You:** Ugh. You’re lucky you’re cute. And since I can no longer sleep, what do you want to talk about?

 **Bucky:** I think we should thank Romanoff.

 **You:** And why’s that?

 **Bucky:** When she told me that night, that she was going to change my life, I thought she was joking. But I underestimated her. Ever since I met you, I’ve never felt happier.

 **You:** Aw, Buck. You’re making me blush.

 **Bucky:** I’m sure you look adorable when you blush. ;)

 **You:** Stop it! You’re going to be the death of me with your constant compliments!

 **Bucky:** Never, I’ll make it my own personal mission to remind you how beautiful you are.

 **You:** Okay. I’ve come to a conclusion.

 **Bucky:** And what have you concluded?

 **You:** That I’m head over heels for you.

 **Bucky:** The feeling’s mutual, doll. 

Ever since that night you and Bucky had been texting back and forth nonstop. Every time you got a notification from him, you felt your heart soar. You’ve only known him for a week and you were utterly helpless. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.


	2. Say No to This

You and Bucky had been dating for two years and it has been the best two years of your life. You’ve given him a new purpose in life. With you around, he no longer felt alone, upset, or out of place. 

You were slowing waking up as you felt a finger gently stroking your face. You groaned as the feeling disappear. 

You heard a light chuckle, “Good morning, beautiful." 

You slowly opened your eyes and met two blue ones. You smiled, "I still don’t know why you say that in the morning. I’m a mess.” You scoot closer to cuddle Bucky.

“You’re beautiful twenty-four seven.” Bucky kissed your forehead and held you closer.

“What time is it?" 

"Ten. Why?”

You groaned, “My flight is at twelve.” You try to get up, but Bucky holds you down, “Buck, come on. I have to get ready and make sure I have everything packed.”

Bucky pouts, “Do you have to go? I don’t want to be alone. Can’t I just come with you?”

“Fury said you can’t. So you can’t. You have to stay here. I promise, a month will go by quick.”

“Why does your family reunion have to be all month?" 

You managed to slip out of Bucky’s grasp and begin to strip. You went from your pajamas to jeans and a shirt, "Because all of my relatives couldn’t get the same days off. With the reunion being a month, that gives everyone time to see each other at the same time.”

Two hours later you and Bucky walked into the airport. You checked your luggage in and started making your way to customs. You turned and jumped into Bucky’s arms. He held you tight trying to remember your scent and how you felt in his arms. 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” You whispered.

He set you down and kissed you, “I love you, Y/N. Don’t forget about me.”

“I love you too, Bucky.” With one last look you made your way to customs. Bucky kept an eye on you until your figure disappeared into the distance.

* * *

It’s been a week since you’ve been away. Bucky was so weak and tired. He really needed a break. With him being a member of the Avengers now, he was always going on missions. He was longing for you, missing you. He missed your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your scent, your body. Everything. Phone calls, texts, and skype wasn’t enough for him. He just wanted you in person.

Every time he came back to your shared apartment after a mission, he often heard the married couple that lived a floor below arguing. It was a mess and Bucky often passed Meredith Raymond crying on the stairwell or outside the building. He would often try to comfort her and talk to her. He would hug her tight and whisper that everything will be okay. 

One day, Meredith met Bucky in the lobby of the Avengers Tower. She was crying again and her left cheek was bloody and swollen, “Meredith? What happened? Did Jim do this to you?”

“Bucky, you’re a good man. I’m sorry to bother you, but I don’t know where else to go. I found out he was cheating on me. I confronted him then he beat me. Then he just left. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

Bucky took her arm and began to walk her out, “I’ll take you home and I’ll help you take care of that swelling." 

The ride back to the apartment complex was in silence. When they arrived, they walked to her apartment and she welcomed him in. Bucky immediately got to work. He cleaned up her wounds, bandaged them, and put them on ice.

"You’re a wonderful man, Bucky Barnes. Thank you so much." 

Bucky smiled, "It’s no problem, doll. I’m gonna head back home now, but you let me know if you need any more help.” Before he was able to walk away, he was stopped.

“Please, stay.” Meredith had this look on her face that gave his mental red flags go up.

“N-No I really should-”

“Stay,” she began to lead him to the bedroom, “Let me take care of you how you take care of me.” She sat him on the bed and gently pushed him down onto his back. She began to kiss him, but he didn’t push away. 

‘How do I say no to this? I don’t know how to do this. She looked so helpless, but God, I need this. Bucky’ said mentally.

* * *

That one night became many. Texts between Bucky and Meredith went back and forth planning when they should see each other again. Sometimes they spent nights at Meredith’s, sometimes at your shared apartment, and other times at hotels. It wasn’t until two weeks of the affair that Bucky received an unknown text message:

_Listen Barnes, I don’t know who you think you are going behind my back and fucking my wife. But I guess I’ll make a deal with you. Pay me to keep quiet and you can keep seeing my whore wife. If not, then I’ll tell Y/N._

Bucky’s eyes widened when he realized that Jim found out about the affair. He was pissed. Meredith lied saying that he didn’t love her anymore. He immediately texted Meredith if she was home alone. When she replied that she was, he went straight there. When she answered the door, Bucky was fuming.

“What the hell Meredith?!”

“What? What did I do?”

Bucky showed her the text, “What’s the meaning of this?! You said your husband doesn’t care about you. Obviously, he does! So what gives?! Was your whole story a setup?!”

She started crying, “I didn’t know any better! He was spending more time at work and I felt lonely and helpless!”

“If he tells Y/N, I’m ruined!”

“Please, just give him what he wants and we can be together.”

Bucky shook his head, “No, I can’t. I don’t want you.”

“Please, Bucky. Stay..” she began to rub her body up Bucky’s. He was so conflicted. He wanted her, but he loved Y/N. 

‘How can I say no to this? When her body’s on mine, it feels so right. But it’s so wrong. Y/N would be heartbroken. But..’

* * *

The next day, Bucky met up with Jim. Jim’s eyes furrowed and his arms were crossed, “So?”

Bucky handed him an envelope filled with money, “Nobody needs to know.”


	3. In Clearing Your Name, You've Ruined Our Lives

When you came back from your family reunion, you noticed that Bucky seemed a bit weird. But he just waved you off saying, “I just have to get used to seeing you every day again.”

* * *

When you two were cuddling while watching a movie, Bucky’s phone rang. He looked at the ID to see that it was Steve. He paused the movie and answered,

“Hey." 

"Buck, we have a problem.”

“What happened now?" 

"Just come to the Tower. We need to show you something.”

“Fine. I’ll be right there.” He hung up and stood up from the couch.

You looked at him with concern, “What’s up?”

“Steve wants me to go to the Tower. Something happened. He didn’t tell me what, but it sounded bad.”

“Do you want me to go with you?” You stood up and walked him to the door.

“No, don’t worry about it.” He kissed you, “I love you. I’ll let you know if I have to stay late.”

“Okay, I love you.”

* * *

Bucky replayed the video over and over again. It was him bombing a building. It was him, but it wasn’t. He shook his head in confusion. Not this again…

“That’s you, Barnes.” Tony said as he paused the video and zoomed in on Bucky’s face.

“Yeah, that’s my face, but that’s not me.”

“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” Fury noted.

“Buck, did you have an episode? Did something trigger you or did you black out?”

“No, no. None of that. I haven’t had an incident in years.”

“Then explain to us how that isn’t you.” Tony demanded.

“I can’t!” Then he thought about it, “Wait. When did this happen?" 

Tony looked it up, "On Thursday the twelfth.”

“I have an alibi.”

“Okay, then what is it?” Steve asked.

“I-I can’t really say.”

“You have got to be shitting me.” Fury said as he threw his hands in the air.

“What do you mean you can’t say, Buck?" 

"Steve, if I tell you this, everything is ruined.”

“If you don’t tell us, then your entire life is ruined, Bucky. You went through this before, you can’t go through this again.”

“Fine!” Bucky ran his hands through his hair, “I was with a woman, my neighbor, Meredith Raymond.”

“Will she confirm that for us?” Tony asked.

Bucky nodded, “Yeah. Listen, you can’t tell Y/N. I don’t want her to find out like this.”

“Whatever you say, Barnes, but you better do it soon. Now if you excuse me, I need to call up my lawyers and talk about settling this.”

When Bucky came home, you were in bed, but still awake reading, “Hey. Everything okay?”

Bucky lazily stripped to his undershirt and boxers, “Yeah. Just got into some trouble.”

You giggle, “Trouble always seems to find you.”

Bucky wanted to tell you, he really did. But he just couldn’t. Not right now. Not right as you stared at him with that smile and your beautiful E/C eyes. He didn’t want to watch that disappear so quickly.

He climbed into bed and pulled you to him, “Let’s just not talk about it, please.”  
You kissed his head and wrapped your arms around him, “You got it, Sarge.”

* * *

As the week passed, Bucky started to become more fidgety like something was bothering him. Yet again, he waved you off saying that he was worried about a mission coming up. 

Wednesday afternoon, you received a text from Natasha:

 **Nat:** You’re not coming to the courthouse?

 **You:** Why would I? 

**Nat:** Considering your boyfriend is involved, I’d assume you’d be here.

You were confused. What was Bucky involved in? So you played it off pretending that you knew what was going on.

 **You:** I guess you’re right. I’ll be there in ten.

When you arrived to the courthouse, court was already in session. You quietly stepped inside and sat in the very back. You saw Bucky sitting at the front. His lawyer was questioning Tony.

“So when you first saw the footage, what did you think?”

“Well, I thought this sure as hell can not be happening again.”

The lawyer nodded her head, “Tell me, Mr. Stark, for those who are unaware of what happened before, what do you mean by ‘happening again’.”

“Three years ago, a man disguised as Barnes, bombed a building in Vienna. It wasn’t really him, but the whole world went on a manhunt for him. He was proven innocent.”

“And, please, tell the court how exactly the man managed to disguise himself as Mr. Barnes." 

"SHIELD formed this new technology. It’s synthetic skin that can be programmed to take the form of any person’s face.”

“A demonstration,” two SHIELD agents that you knew as Fitz and Simmons stepped forward. Fitz put the transparent synthetic skin on his face, then Simmons programmed it to take the form of Tony’s face. The court interrupted with gasps and murmurs. The judge had to slam her gavel to shut everyone up. You watched carefully.

You stayed hidden in the back for a while. Watching the lawyers go back and forth questioning witnesses. Then it was Bucky’s turn.

The prosecutor paced as he asked the question, “Where were you on the night of the bombing, Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky gulped nervously, “I was at my apartment.”

“Were you alone in your apartment?”

Bucky shook his head, “No. I wasn’t.”

“Who was with you, Mr. Barnes?”

“Meredith Raymond.”

The prosecutor continued to pace, “What exactly were you doing with Mrs. Raymond?”

You saw Bucky clench his jaw, “We were sleeping together." When you heard that, your heart dropped. What? How could he? While you were away?

"I recall that Mrs. Raymond is, of course, married and you have a girlfriend, Miss Y/N L/N. So did either Mr. Raymond or Miss L/N know of the affair.”

“Only Jim knew.” You heard Bucky say. You couldn’t take it anymore. You immediately stood up and walked out of there, but made eye contact with Bucky before you left.

When the jury found Bucky not guilty, he was happy for only a moment because he saw you. You were there.

“Hey! Man! Why aren’t you happy?”

Bucky shook his, “She was here, Steve. She heard everything.”


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as you entered your apartment, you broke down. How could Bucky, the one who claimed to love you, cheat on you like that? Especially with your neighbor?

You ran your hands through your hair as you let your tears flow freely from your eyes. You looked at the clock. He’d be here any moment. What were you going to do? What were you going to say? 

You have to leave. You can’t deal with him right now. Your heart is hurting too much. So you went to your closet and pulled out some duffel bags and a suitcase. You began to carelessly throw in clothes and toiletries. Where you were going? You had no clue. Sure this was your apartment before Bucky moved in, but now it was filled with too many memories. Fun, loving memories that have been tainted. Tainted by Bucky and that woman. You scoffed. How dare he sleep with someone else in your apartment!

“Y/N!” You hear Bucky call out. Your eyes widen and you quickly finish throwing things into your bags. Bucky walks in and stops at the doorway. He clears his throat, “W-What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” You snap at him. You grab your bags and push past him.

He catches your arm, “Please, Y/N, let me explain. Just hear me out.”

“I’ve heard enough! You cheated on me while I was away. You cheated on me with our neighbor and not only that! Oh no, you slept with her in our bed!”

“I know! I messed up! But please! I love you-”

“No! You do not get to say you love me after all of that!” You took a deep breath, “You know, from the very first text you sent me, I thought you were mine. You captured my heart and I thought I did the same for you. All of those sweet, caring words that you sent me, those compliments, those promises. I can only think of them as lies now. Everything that we’ve built up together, this relationship of two years. You’ve ruined it. It’s burning down as I speak to you now, James Barnes, and it’s all your fault.” You pulled your arm from Bucky’s grasp and walked towards the door. 

“Y/N, please! I can’t lose you!" 

With one last glance you said, "You lost me the moment you slept with Meredith.”

* * *

It’s been three days since you left. You were currently staying with Clint and his family. He happily welcomed you with open arms.

“Just don’t tell him I’m here, okay?”

“No problem.”

You were currently spread out on his couch going through your old texts between you and Bucky sent during your trip to see if there was a point where he was no longer yours.

Clint lifted your legs, sat down, and set your legs on top of him. You sat up as he handed you a cup of hot chocolate. He looked at you with pity, “I did warn you, ya know. When you two started getting involved.”

“Yeah, I remember. You said ‘Barnes, does what he please and, usually, doesn’t care who gets caught in the crossfire’. Right now, I’m starting to regret not taking your warning seriously." 

"He still loves you, ya know. He keeps texting the team asking if they have any leads on you.”

“Does anyone else know I’m here?”

He shook his head, “The team doesn’t even know where I live, so you’re good.”

You sat up and huffed, “I just can’t believe it had to take a court case for me to find out! I mean, I should have seen it coming! When I came back, he was acting a bit weird. Avoiding me.” You leaned into Clint’s shoulder, “I feel so stupid.”

“Hey, stop that.” Clint wrapped his arm around you and hugged you closer, “You are not stupid, okay? You loved and trusted, Barnes. He’s stupid for taking advantage of that.”

“I just don’t know what to do, Clint.” You muttered.

“It’s okay. You’ll figure it out. You can stay as long as you want. We’re happy to have you here.”

You thanked Clint and went upstairs to the guest room to take a nap.

* * *

When you woke up it was one in the morning. You slept for five hours. You knew you were going to regret that. You looked at your phone to see you had four missed calls, three voice mails, and ten texts. You looked at the texts first. Three were from Steve and the rest were from Bucky. You decided to look at Steve’s texts:

 **Steve:** Y/N, you really need to talk to Bucky. He’s really upset. 

**Steve:** I know he hurt you, but just listen to him.

 **Steve:** And I’m not trying to justify what he did. I don’t approve of what he did, but I really think you two should talk. Call me or him when you have the chance.

You aimlessly looked through Bucky’s texts:

 **Bucky:** Y/N…

 **Bucky:** Babe, please talk to me.

 **Bucky:** I need you.

 **Bucky:** I can’t do this without you.

 **Bucky:** I really am sorry.

You stopped right there. You decided to listen to his voice mails:

“Y/N,” his voice sounded shaky like he was crying, “I know, I messed up. I really regret everything. I regret hurting you. It’s just. Hell, I don’t really have an excuse. I was stupid. I fell into the temptations. I guess, I was just lonely since you were gone. I don’t know.” Then the voice mail ended.

The next one, “I honestly don’t think enough sorrys can make up for how much I’ve hurt you. You didn’t need to find out that way. I didn’t want you to find out that way. I was going to tell you, but I couldn’t. I was too much of a coward. Every time I tried finding the courage, all hope was lost because I looked into your eyes and…God, Y/N, I saw so much love.” That voicemail ended.

The last one, “I saw the love in your eyes and I couldn’t bare the thought of seeing all of that disappear as soon as I would tell you. You just,” he took a shaky breath, “You just mean to much to me,” You could hear him start sobbing, “I love you so much and I don’t think I ever deserved you. If this is really the end, then fine, I guess I’ll have to expect it, but please, call me back. I’d like to hear your voice one last time. I love you, Y/N.” You hung up your phone and wiped the tears that were forming in your eyes. Hearing his words were so heartbreaking, but you couldn’t just go back to him. No, you held more self-value than that.

You sighed and got up from bed. Fresh air would probably be good right now. You quietly made your way downstairs to find Clint and Laura cuddling on the couch in front of the tv.

When you walked over to them, Clint turned his head towards you, “Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?" 

"Not really. I’m going to get some fresh air. Hang by the pond, look at the stars, think about life and what not.”

Laura looked at you, “Don’t stay out too long. It’s cold and you might get sick.”

You chuckled, “Alright, mom." 

"Oh! I also saved some dinner for you! It’s in the fridge.”

“Thanks Laura!” You called out as you exited the house and made your way to the pond. As you trudged over there, you phone began to vibrate. You looked at the caller ID to see Bucky’s name. You silenced your phone and continued on your way. You sat by a tree stump next to the pond. The crescent moon and the stars’ reflection in the pond looked beautiful. Your phone vibrated again to notify you that a voice mail was left. 

You listened to it. The first thing you hear is Bucky’s panting, “I-I had a nightmare. It’s been so long since I’ve had one. You’re not here for me to hold or to calm me, so I thought maybe telling you through here would suffice. It was bad. I was in Winter Soldier mode and..and I killed you. I reached to your side hoping to find you, but ya know. You weren’t there. Anyway, sorry to bother. Goodnight." 

"Uuugggh!” You picked up a rock and threw it into the pond with anger. You then stood up and walked back to the house. 

Laura and Clint were still awake. They were watching a re-run of Criminal Minds. The fireplace was lit so you sat near it to warm yourself up.

“Fresh air didn’t help?” Clint asked.

“He called and left a voice mail. I listened to it.” You twirled the phone in your hand, “This phone has so many memories in here. Pictures and texts…” You then tossed your phone into the fire.

“Y/N, what are you doing?!” Laura exclaimed.

“It’s mine and Bucky’s relationship going up in flames.” You gestured to phone in the fire.

Clint scoffed, “Why’d you do that though?”

“I’m moving on. Burning the texts, the pictures, the memories of when Bucky was mine and I was his. He can’t get to me anymore. I’m done.” You sat there bringing your knees to your chest. You stared into the fire watching everything you had with Bucky burn.


End file.
